Dog Humor - Dog Mind Games
After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL
DRY YOU!
Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry
yourself off on the sheets.
This is especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.
Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans
come home, put your ears back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done something really bad.
Then, watch as the humans frantically search the
house for the damage they think you have caused.
(Note: This only works when you have done
absolutely nothing wrong.)
Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn
it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea
what they're talking about.
Make your humans be patient. When you go outside
to go 'pee,' sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee will
ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk
always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo.'
Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly
well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic bag.
When out for a walk, alternate between choking and
coughing every time a strange human walks by.
Hide from your humans. When your humans come home,
don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible has happened to you.
(Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to
tears).
When your human calls you to come back in, always
take your time.
Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is
set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back inside, fall
asleep.
(Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive
them nuts!)
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